Trusting Tomorrow Page 7

  Brooke did pull her arm away then, fearing what might happen if she prolonged the contact. She didn’t trust the way her body was responding to the things Logan was saying. Arousal was something she hadn’t experienced in almost a year, and she had to admit, the feeling was rather invigorating. She could definitely get used to it.

  “I have not heard it many times before, but thank you,” Brooke murmured.

  “Then there’ve been more fools in your past than I thought.”

  Oh, Logan was laying it on thick. It wasn’t like Brooke didn’t enjoy being the recipient of her flattering remarks, but she found herself wondering how many other women she’d said the same things to in the past. Or how many more of them were in her future. Was she saying these things to try to get her into bed?

  “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Logan.” Brooke got up and walked toward her front door, not really trusting herself to resist Logan’s charms for much longer. When she turned back to say good night, she was startled to find Logan standing only a few inches away. “I really should be getting inside so I can check on my grandparents.”

  Logan leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I had a nice time tonight as well. I hope we can do it again sometime.”

  “So do I.” Brooke mentally slapped herself for sounding so eager. But then again, what would it hurt to spend time with Logan? They were both single, and neither of them was looking for anything permanent. Just because she’d never been into casual sex before didn’t mean she couldn’t start now, did it?

  When Logan nodded and started toward the railing separating her porch from the Colliers’, Brooke stopped her with a hand to her forearm. Before she could give herself the opportunity to think about what she was doing, she put her arms around Logan’s neck and pulled her against her body. Logan’s hands immediately went to Brooke’s hips. Logan’s beautiful green eyes darkened and when her tongue came out to wet her lips, Brooke stopped thinking.

  The kiss was achingly gentle, which wasn’t what Brooke had expected at all. Their lips met and she heard herself sigh. She wanted to pull Logan down to the ground and take her right there on the front porch. Instead, the kiss was over before Brooke could think about deepening it.

  “I thought we were only going to be friends,” Logan said quietly.

  “You asked me on a date.”

  “So I did.” Logan wet her lips again, and Brooke thought her knees might give out. “So, do you want a friend or do you want someone to date?”

  “Why do I have to decide right this minute? Can’t we simply enjoy the evening?”

  “If we want to sleep with each other, there’s probably no point in even trying to be friends.”

  “What makes you think I want to sleep with you?” Brooke pulled away as the haze of desire dissipated quicker than it had developed. What the hell had she been thinking? “I swear to God, you’ve got to be the most arrogant woman I’ve ever met.”

  “You kissed me,” Logan said just as Brooke reached for the doorknob. The chuckle she heard before turning to face Logan had the hair standing up on the back of her neck.

  “Trust me when I say it won’t happen again.”

  Chapter Nine

  It was two days later when the doctor finally called with Jack’s test results. Jack had been calmer than Logan in waiting for the phone to ring. It was obvious he’d resigned himself to never being able to play again, though Logan refused to go there. But now, while he was on the phone in the living room, she could see by the look on his face there weren’t any more Super Bowls in his future.

  “Thanks for everything, doc,” Jack said and hung up. He sighed and handed the phone to her. “You might as well call Ernie and see if he’s interested in helping me with my apprenticeship.”

  “Damn it, Jack, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “But it did, Logan, and there isn’t a thing either one of us can do about it.”

  “He said you could never play again?”

  “No, he said I could, but he strongly advised against it. The decision is mine, Logan. I can continue playing and probably end up with permanent—or possibly fatal—brain damage, or I can move back here and work with you in the family business. Seems like an obvious choice to me. A no-brainer, if you’ll excuse the pun.”

  “You aren’t going to be happy here, Jack. You’ve lived in the city for too long.” Logan couldn’t believe she was more upset about his career being over than he was. Why wasn’t he angry about it?

  “It’s not like I was in Manhattan, for God’s sake. I was in Cleveland.” He laughed, and gave her a gentle punch to the thigh. “And you know what? I wasn’t cut out to live in the city anyway. I’ve been more relaxed and happy in the past few days being back here with you than I have been anywhere else in the past twelve years. As long as you forget about the reason I made the trip here in the first place.”

  “You probably have enough money you wouldn’t have to work another day in your life. Why would you want to start working in a field you never had any desire to try before?”

  “You’re right. I probably wouldn’t have to work another day in my life. Especially since I signed a new five-year deal last September. I’ll be getting five million a year for the next four years, and I won’t have to do a damn thing for it. But I do want to work in the funeral business. I know you never wanted to, so this way you can go back to school and become a doctor if you still want to. I’ll take over the family business, and you can have the life you planned for. If that’s what you want.”

  She didn’t, but his words caused a lump in her throat. She’d given up on that dream when their mother died, and she’d never looked back. She still had her insecurities about being able to keep Swift Funeral Home as successful as her father had, but it was what she was born to do. With Jack there too, she had no doubt they could keep it going for the next generation of Swifts, which opened a whole new can of worms.

  “What about Cynthia?” Logan asked. “She might not be too pleased about your move out to the middle of nowhere.”

  “We already talked about it,” Jack said with a goofy grin. “She’s working under contract with her law firm in Cleveland, but the contract is up in May, and then she’s ready to move out here with me. I’ve already started looking at property in the area so we can build a house of our own.”

  “I don’t want to be the doomsayer here, but what if things don’t work out for you guys? You’ve only known each other for three months.”

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t want me here.”

  “You couldn’t be further from the truth.” Logan paused, trying to find the words to express her apprehension. “I don’t want you to regret anything, Jack. You don’t have to come back here and help with the business. Personally, I’d love to have you here, but not if you’re doing it out of some sort of loyalty to Dad.”

  “I’m doing it because I want to do it. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to throw all these roadblocks up in front of me. I’ve thought about this for a while, and it’s what I want. Can you just be happy for me?”

  Logan nodded, overcome with emotion. Everything in her life had changed so drastically over the past few days, she wasn’t quite sure she could deal with any more changes, even good ones.

  “And to answer your previous question, this will give us six more months to see how things go. She’ll visit here, and I’ll visit there. This is it for me, Logan. I can feel it in here,” he said with a hand over his heart. “We both want kids, and once she moves here, we’ll have time for it. I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  “Wow.” She was ecstatic for him even though she wasn’t entirely sure she liked the idea of becoming an aunt. They’d probably expect her to babysit or something. “I hope she says yes because she seems to really make you happy, but why don’t you guys live here? I’ll be going back to my apartment eventually, and the house will be vacant.”

  “No, you’ll find someone someday, and s
he may not want to live above a funeral home. I know I wouldn’t want to. Keep the house, and when you get married, you can live here.”

  “Aside from the fact I have no desire to, it isn’t legal in Pennsylvania.”

  “But it is in New York, and Jamestown isn’t so far away,” he said with a grin.

  She sighed, knowing he would never give up. Her thoughts turned to Brooke, which terrified her, because for a moment she could actually see them walking down the aisle. She shuddered at the thought.

  *

  “And get some beer too,” Jack called as Logan walked out the front door later that evening.

  “Typical man—can’t go to the store for himself,” she muttered under her breath. The next day was Thanksgiving, and Logan couldn’t have been happier the Colliers had invited her, Jack, and Cynthia over for dinner and football. She didn’t have a clue whether Cynthia cooked or not, but there was no way in hell she was going to attempt a turkey dinner. Maybe a TV dinner, but a whole turkey? She shook her head. “I don’t know how people do it.”

  “Talking to yourself, Logan?” Brooke asked.

  Logan jumped what felt like a foot in the air and whipped her head up to glare at Brooke, who was standing by the street next to her car. They’d managed to avoid each other since their dinner date two days before, and Logan had been doing her best to not give in to the pull she felt. At least three times she’d had to talk herself out of going to ring the Colliers’ doorbell. Not out loud, of course, because wouldn’t Jack have a field day with her then?

  “I’m the only one intelligent enough to carry on a conversation with, so why not?” Her heart swelled when she heard Brooke laugh. It was a wonderful, throaty sound, and it made Logan feel lighter than she had in days. She wanted to listen to it forever. No, I don’t. Where the hell did that come from? “Are you going somewhere?”

  “Gram forgot the spices for the pumpkin pie. She’s sending me out on my own to try to find some. Forget the fact I’ve never been out driving by myself here.” Brooke turned away and started to unlock her car door when Logan stopped her.

  “I’m going to Riverside to pick up some groceries,” she said. “Want to carpool?”

  Logan waited while Brooke appeared to contemplate the offer. It didn’t escape Logan’s notice she looked a little apprehensive to get in the car alone with her.

  “I won’t bite.”

  “Promise?”

  Was Brooke actually flirting with her? Logan walked down the walkway from the house to her car.

  “Not unless you ask me to.” She tried to hide her grin at the way Brooke’s cheeks turned red. She got in her car and waited to see if Brooke would get in too. She wasn’t about to beg her to come along. When Brooke finally joined her and was buckled in, Logan turned to her. “Do you have a curfew?”

  “What?” Her surprise was evident. “Where exactly is Riverside?”

  “Canada.”

  Brooke reached for the door handle, but Logan’s hand shot out to grip her forearm.

  “But the Riverside we’re going to is about fifteen miles from here.” Logan loosened her grip when Brooke relaxed, but she didn’t immediately break their contact. She looked down at where she held Brooke and could have sworn she felt a jolt of electricity. She forced herself to let go and started the car.

  “Can I ask a question without you getting angry with me?” Brooke asked when they were a few minutes down the road.

  Logan’s chest tightened. She kept her eyes focused on the road and simply nodded.

  “Why are you so against having a relationship?”

  The reasons flooded her mind, but she didn’t give voice to any of them. They all made sense to her, but she knew if she tried to articulate them to anyone else she’d no doubt come across sounding like a scared little girl. That was definitely not the image she wanted to portray to Brooke Collier.

  “Are you going to answer me?” Brooke asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

  “I said you could ask the question. I never said I’d answer it.”

  “Wow, you must have been hurt pretty badly.”

  “I’ve had one girlfriend my entire life,” Logan said. She did her best, but it was nearly impossible to keep the defensive tone from her voice. “I told you we broke up. It was because her father died, and she couldn’t deal with it. She couldn’t allow me close enough so I could help her get through it. Death ripped us apart as completely as it would have if she had been the one who died. Death annihilates everything in its path. It destroys the people left behind. I’ve seen it time and time again in my profession, and I’ve experienced it firsthand.”

  “So you’re afraid if you fall in love you’ll lose her to death.” Brooke shook her head and looked out the window.

  They didn’t speak the rest of the way to the store, and did their shopping in silence. Brooke had been mulling it all over in her mind, and she couldn’t come up with any better explanation than Logan was a coward. She wasn’t willing to risk putting her heart on the line because of the possibility death could snatch it away from her one day. But didn’t she realize some people spent their entire lives together? Brooke’s grandparents were approaching their sixtieth anniversary.

  “So it’s easier if you never fall in love with someone?” she finally asked. Logan glanced at her, the expression on her face indicating she had no idea what Brooke was talking about. Brooke took a deep breath before trying to elaborate. “How can you possibly think living on your own is a better way of life than having someone to share it with?”

  “I seem to recall you not wanting to get involved with anyone either. I thought we were on the same page as far as relationships are concerned,” Logan said, obviously wanting to be argumentative. “Besides, how is what I feel any different from what you’re feeling? You were hurt badly—it almost killed you, you said—and you don’t want to risk it again. Aren’t you living like it’s easier to never fall in love again? At least my way I’m never alone unless I want to be. I could drive to a bar tonight and find a woman to go home with. What do you have? Your own hand? Maybe some toys in your nightstand?”

  Brooke wanted to lash out at her. In that moment she was certain she’d never wanted anything quite so badly. But what would be the point? Why couldn’t they seem to spend more than a few minutes together without arguing? She wanted a friend in this town, but clearly Logan Swift wasn’t going to fit the bill.

  *

  “Oh, my God, that woman is infuriating,” Brooke said to no one in particular when she entered the house, hanging her coat up roughly. “I swear I could wring her neck.”

  “I wouldn’t recommend strangulation as a solution to any problem, dear,” her grandmother said with a chuckle. She took the bag from Brooke and motioned for her to have a seat at the kitchen table. “What’s Logan done now?”

  “How—”

  “I’ve had the very same reaction toward her many times,” her grandmother said. She waved a hand and took her seat across from Brooke. The smile on her face was one of true affection. “She can be more stubborn than a mule, that one, but she’s got a heart of gold. You could do worse than to get involved with her.”

  “What?” Brooke almost choked on the glass of water her grandmother gave her. She’d never told her grandparents she was gay. They’d come from a different time, a time where things like homosexuality were never spoken of. It wasn’t as though she didn’t think they could handle it, but she was worried they wouldn’t be able to understand. Her own parents didn’t understand, so how could she expect her grandparents to? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t be coy, dear. We suspected you might be a lesbian the moment we met you, but certain things over the years have only served to convince us we were right.”

  “You and Grandpa talked about me when I wasn’t here? About my sex life?” Brooke felt her cheeks flush, and she wanted desperately to find a rock to hide under. Her almost eighty-year-old grandparents discussing her pri
vate life was more than a little disconcerting. “God, I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life, Gram.”

  “Oh, please, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” her grandmother said with a dismissive wave. “Everyone has sex, right? I’m sure you never got the support you needed from your father, and I always hoped you’d tell us on your own, but catching you off guard like this was a hoot.”

  Brooke knew her mouth was hanging open, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. Her mind was reeling. When her grandmother laughed at her expression, it was all Brooke needed to snap out of it.

  “I think this is only the second time you’ve mentioned my father,” she said quietly. “I’ve asked him numerous times and he refuses to tell me anything. What happened to cause this rift between you?”

  “Rift? It’s so much more than a rift, Brooke. It’s a chasm I’m afraid can’t ever be crossed. The bridges have been burned, and there’s no going back.” Her grandmother chuckled after a moment. “How many clichés can an old woman cram into a couple of sentences? And what happened between your father and us is a story for another time.”

  Brooke nodded and tried not to let her frustration show. She was well beyond ever trying to get her father to visit and talk to his parents. It was apparent now, even if he had come, they wouldn’t have been interested in anything he would have had to say.

  “So?” her grandmother asked, the glint in her eye making her look decades younger. “You and Logan? Am I right?”

  “No, you’re not. That will never happen because apparently neither one of us is ever going to be in a relationship again.”

  “Wendy really did a number on you, didn’t she? I’m glad you never brought her here, because I’d probably wring her neck for hurting you so badly.”